Coincidence

Two things. Quickly though, I am traveling.

I'm on, quite possibly, the slowest computer I have ever been on. Once you have been exposed to beautiful high-speed internet, you truly can never return to the dull, molasses-like box I call this computer. I don't know if it's the R.A.M. or the cable connection, but I feel I have aged a bit while attempting to surf the web on this browser. Slow computers are probably ranked in the top 10 on the Annoying Things About Life list; being so extensive, that's pretty good. I feel like I am in the mid-90's when computers were just gaining some decent speed. I mean, the sound doesn't even match the alerts. I am typing and it is actually revealing the letters with a 3 second delay. That's three seconds three many.

Also, does anyone else agree that watching movies late at night impairs your judgment of the actual film itself? Every midnight showing or late night viewing I have ever seen has always ended tragically, on my part. It's either a huge coincidence, or watching movies for the first time late at night is a no-no. Perhaps you are tired, or maybe it is something else...like you're sleepy. Watching movies late at night ruins them.
I saw the movie Burn After Reading last night at like 12:00. More like Burn After Watching. Everyone I know gave it great reviews and it looked fabulous, I just didn't like it at the time.

Perhaps another day I shall watch it while blogging. Nah, my computer can't handle two windows at once.


*The picture above is of a Chow Chow, a dog my sister found on the street and named Chowder.

New Found Instant Lunch, Glory!

New Found Glory is a band with interesting ideas for the ending to their CDs. Each one of them ends with a great song, however, the song has eight more minutes after the ending of the actual song. What is this?

The time is filled with either a scream or a whisper of creepy voices. The band goofs off at the end of their albums by singing lyrics like "Someone's in your house" and screaming very loudly ten minutes after your favorite song is over. This is no bonus track.

Now, my alarm clock is my ipod put on a shuffle setting. Apparently, the band members think it is comical that I wake up to a voice whispering someone's in your house at 7:00 in the morning. I've never woken up so fast in the morning. I suddenly tried to justify why someone would be in my house so early. You know how you are when you just wake up. You're still waking up from that groggy stage, you don't know what's going on. It's bad enough waking up as it is, but imagine waking up to a little whisper in your ear. Who did I anger so much so that they would come to my humble abode?

Heart attacks feel so good after a deep slumber.

I bought a chicken flavored Maruchan Instant Lunch bowl today. The one with the noodles, sodium-filled broth, and...vegetables?

Yes. There are carrots, corn, and peas in the Ramon broth. But, they're all dehydrated. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting my full dose of nutrition out of these bits and pieces of corn and carrots. I guess if you pay half the dollar, you're going to get half the veggies. But here's an idea Maruchan, don't advertise a colorful assortment of vegetables dancing in a bowl on the cover if you can't deliver. I better get happy, hydrated veggies for my two quarters next time, or someone will be in your house at 7:00 A.M. and it won't be New Found Glory.




*The picture in this blog consists of an Instant Lunch bowl and the band New Found Glory in the background.

A Haunting

My air-conditioner is haunted. There is no doubt about it.

All day it runs and makes no noise. It is quiet as a crowd while Aretha Franklin sings.

When I turn off the lights and get into bed, it suddenly starts making a noise that can only be described as a person punching at it from the inside.

Are there any air-conditioning experts out there or is my cooling system a ghouling system?

Anytime

By request, I looked up the difference between the word 'anytime' and the phrase 'any time'. Through various sources and research, I find some enlightening responses.

Basically, the word 'anytime' means 'at any time'. It is an adverb and it describes when a verb, an adjective, or another adverb takes place. I found a couple of great examples.

Anytime you need help, just ask. (When can I ask? Anytime.) You can visit anytime you want. (When can I visit? Anytime.)

The phrase 'any time' is a combination of a modifier (any) and a noun (time). It belongs in front of a preposition to complete a prepositional phrase. i.e. at any time.

You are welcome to visit at any time you want. I may not have any time this weekend. ('any' describes how much 'time' I may not have this weekend)

The sentence "The meeting can be scheduled any time" does not work. By adding a simple 'at' before the 'any' to make it a prepositional phrase makes the sentence correct in all the right ways.


I hope that helps. If worst comes to worst, and we all know it does, you could sit there dwelling over the sentence and ask yourself whether it works or not out loud. However, this action does not prevent people from thinking you are socially awkward.
The word and the phrase and certainly easy to mix up.

I also looked up something else.

Apparently, 'anyways' is slang and was invented during a dialect movement in America. A couple sources say that 'anyways' is incorrect and in every situation, one should always use 'anyway' with no 's'. Anytime you use the word 'anyway', make sure to leave off the 's'. I guess you truly do learn something new every day.
Everyday...every day....everyday?








Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Employment and Reading at an All Time Low

An article from the New Yorker in 2007 describes a major decrease in literacy in the recent century. The article states that they did a study in the Netherlands between the years of 1955-1975. They asked everyday people to keep diaries and journal entries of what they did on their spare time, every 15 minutes. With the help of the invention of the television, the amount of reading dropped from 5 hours per week to a measly 3.6 hours per week. Watching television, on the other hand, increased from 10 minutes per week to 10 hours.

By 1995, reading occupied only 9% of people's spare time.

Sociologists think that reading might someday slip into an activity mean for a special "reading class", much like it was before books were published in the 19th century.
Reading is an essential part of exercise for the brain. It develops healthy, positive thinking and decreases the chances of depression and cognitive cells. Reading also enlightens the brain and expands the front part of the brain, which works on muscle memory.

It is also an interesting fact that readers view the world in a different way than people who view television or movies. Readers have a broader imagination and learn by drawing their own conclusions from the descriptive words.

The ironic part about the way I came across this interesting and appealing article was that I had put down my assigned reading for history class, which was slowly, but surely, putting me to sleep. Page after page of uninteresting reading makes it seem like a jumble of words. I, personally, dislike reading unless it is completely engaging or relevant to my life. However, the only engaging books are eventually turned into movies. The books' plots are then tortured into cinematic experiences to sell tickets at the theatres. What is the point of imagining my characters and scenes if they will just show me anyways this coming Fall for $9.50? By the way, the reason your book never turns out the way you want it to is for two facts: readers all have unique imaginations and because Hollywood must go through a series of editors, writers, and agents to create a over-dramatized star-studded movie version of your book.


I believe the real reason for a decrease in reading and writing is social networks and texting, both of which created a system of communication called short-hand messaging (i.e. lol or brb). Basically, people are slowly forgetting to read and write because they are creating a new language to learn for themselves, a new language of slang. The English language is getting shorter and interests in generations are changing. If people really do end up wanting to write a word and do not know how to spell it, there is always spell-check. Spell-check allows people to mispell words and not take responsibility for the ramifications involved in fixing the error.

Who needs a dictionary when I can just right-click the word and take my best shot?

If television really has that big of an impact on reading and writing, why aren't more programs dedicated to educating future generations?
I grew up with Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow. Where are those shows now? What do kids have to watch on television to expand their ever-growing minds now?


While we're on the subject of teaching future generations, they should really invest the time in creating common sense classes for everyday life. Really, they should. I had to learn how to fill out a deposit slip at the bank the hard way. Yeah, I looked like an idiot.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Green Bay Packers

It's been a little while, but I have a good excuse. You see, I was working for 9 hours yesterday and I must work another 9 today. That's 18 hours in 48 hours. If you subtract time to sleep and time to eat, I barely have 30 minutes for my occasional game of Scrabble. I haven't played in over a year; I'm due for a double-word square sooner or later.

Anyways, I would like to share with you two things I observed. They aren't quite philosophical, but they are no less important.

It was a Friday afternoon.
Walking out of the elevator with me the other day was a woman that I will try to describe to you. She wore black boot-like shoes with a pointed heel at the bottom. The heels led up to legging-pants that were complimented by a large belt. Her shirt was what I can only describe as an undergarment, revealing much of what I didn't want to see. I couldn't see her face, because it was covered in make-up and dark shadows around her eyes. When she stepped out of the elevator, she walked to her Escalade and blasted some sort of rap artist with an overwhelming amount of bass.

Please girls, you're embarrassing yourself. You're embarrassing me. When you are wear a jersey, or a t-shirt with a club or organization on it, you are representing them wherever you go. You represent 'those fans' and 'those members'. If I see a person wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey tear down a sign in a hallway (dramatization), I'm going to think all Packers' fans are idiots. Am I not? It's a sad informal fallacy, but it is truly believed by all. People live by these sorts of things. So, being a woman or being a man, you represent your gender, to a degree. By wearing skank heels and revealing tops, you degrade the female gender to meaningless stereotypes. I, unlike you Britney Spears-idolizing-nothing-to-do-on-a-Friday-afternoon-but-blast-my-dumb-music-hoochy mama, would like to be taken seriously in life. Now, you're not very well helping my cause by walking in heels that you can't even wear yourself. If you're wobbling, they're too high. Maybe you should get some heels the diameter of your brain, 2 inches maybe? Oh, the diameter is the measuement across the circle, usually used to calculate the perimeter of the circle (circumference) or the area of it. (10th grade Geometry)

Stop dressing like trash and try having people like you for who you are. Try, for a change, attracting people with your personality. Or, as I would bet money on, you are too insecure to have a real personality. So, maybe take some time to develop that preferably before the next time you step out of an elevator. Trade in the Escalade for a book or two. I imagine you won't get that much for it in the economy right now. We're in a slight recession. Read the paper.

I feel good. I don't know about anyone else. Now, we shall end on something pleasant. I have gained several wonderful friends in the last week or so. One of which is Darrell, a person whom I can discuss intelligent topics with and laugh about silly mistakes in the same conversation. I also met Richard. I was at work yesterday, for 9 hours just to stress it (actually that sounds like a normal work day for anyone, but I started work at 3:30 PM, so I got off super late). I texted Richard and told him that I was at work and starving and he ended up bringing me food to eat. What a nice gesture. It completely made my day and night. Those kinds of things really make me continue to stay positive.



That is all.
Oh and girl from the elevator, sorry I made fun of you. It doesn't matter, you probably can't read anyways.






Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Capitalization

I've had a couple of clever titles for blogs that I wanted to write, however, capitalization is awkward and a very hard word to spell (therefore I am not going to type it again). Who knows what to cap- well, who knows what proper titles should look like? I've wanted to try out a few, but I didn't want to look like an idiot. Is it too late? Hey, at least I admit my faults.



Speaking of typing, not to stray from any incoming important points...foreshadowing, have you ever started typing something at your own general speed and your fingers were positioned in the wrong place? Your sentence ends up looking like Arabic and you try reading it back to yourself, all the while forgetting what you were typing in the first place. It must not have been that important in the first place if you forgot it. I'm just saying, it's a strange phenomenon. Thank God for spell-check. (T.G.F.S.C.)




Anyways, I came across a good life lesson that anyone is free to live by.

If doing something makes you happy, then do it.

If-Then statements are funny little things. They state that if something happens, then the other will correspond to its affects. No one can tell you how to live your life, therefore, you are accountable for your attitude. Is this not true? There is no reason to be 'wishing' you had a different job, career, or life when you can go out there and live it yourself.

Now, back to my statement. If something makes you happy, then do it. It doesn't matter what others think; your decisions make you who you are. If sleeping all day makes you happy, then do it. Does that mean it's healthy? Hell no. Sooner or later, you will find out that sleeping all day makes you incredibly groggy and a not-so-fun person to be around and, in turn, does not truly make you happy.

The only way to figure out what true happiness is for you would be to test the temporary fixes that make you smile for a minute until you find a passion in life that makes you beam for a lifetime.

It's not sleeping.




If anyone is interesting in hilarious writers, I found a new idol today. He writes for the Local section of the Arizona Republic and his name is Clay Thompson. He answers people's questions and the last one was a doozy. If anyone can find today's paper, I would read his response to this person's question about toothpaste. They asked if all toothpaste companies are left-handed for some strange reason and he ended up telling them to get a life and stop worrying about tooth-paste. I have never scared so many people at one time by laughing out loud on the bus.


Maybe I should have waited until I was in a less public area to read such a hilarious article.


I found a fun sign yesterday and took a cheerful picture for everyone.

Enjoy.

Caption: The picture is of Yoshi's Fast Food Drive-Thru Japanese food. The bottom of the sign says "Have a Rice Day".

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.