Due Dates and Shrinking Rates

A couple thoughts.

I wish bodies would shrink like clothes do under a warm wash. I wash my colors and my sweater shrinks 3 sizes. Don't you think bodies should act in the same manner? At least to fit the ruined sweater? I'm going to have to pull a Mike TV and stretch it out.
I want to step out of the shower one day and be like, ohhh; my waist shrunk 3 sizes. Bummer. I hate when that happens. Learned my lesson the hard way; don't take another warm shower and then tumble dry. Damn you high heat and steamy atmosphere. (Sarcasm included)

Teachers. I think you, too, should have due dates. If I work tiring hours and weeks over an essay due to you on a certain date, I think I should receive that grade within a reasonable time period. Okay, so I only work tiring hours over an essay, but they are still tiring because most of the time it is around 12:00 AM. "I'll get them back to you later," isn't a proper excuse. I can't very well get my paper to you some other day, can I? I know you have a life, but do your job: skim read my essay and slap an A on that sucker.

Does anyone know anything about specific computer viruses? After about 11:00 at night, my computer starts typing backwards when I try to type anything. I can't read mirror language and no one else can, that I know of, so this phenomenon is quite useless and annoying. Sometimes it even types in all capitalized letters. Who vexed my computer into typing in annoying styles? After 11:00 on my computer, I either look like I am shouting or I am on the wrong side of the mirror. Should I break a mirror to undo this wretched curse?

Just a quick grammar lesson. I know it seems like I really love grammar, but that is only because I do.
Then and Than (This one is my favorite.)

Then is a word used to justify time or sequence of events.
ex: Let's go to the gym, then we can go get ice-cream.
ex: Back then I used to think that there was only one type of political party.

Than is a word used for comparison.
ex: I am better at sports than you. (Comparing your ability, or lack there of, to play sports to my ability)
ex: People read less than they used to, but that's no surprise.


They don't even look like words anymore. I hate when you say a word too many times and it ends up not sounding like an English word. Like Jell-O. Or lamentablamente.
(Not actual English words, Sarcasm not included)