Leaf Blowers

Machines that make such vile noise should not be allowed to operate before 12:00 P.M.

I don't turn on the vacuum at 11:00 P.M. and decide it's a good time to start Spring cleaning early.

And really? Leaf blowers? Use a broom like a normal person. It saves gas, like a Honda, but less efficient.

Couldn't garbage trucks pick a better time to pick up the week's worth of garbage other than 5:00 A.M.?

So, I've got the guy doing yard work and the garbage trucks giving me a surround sound of sleeping distractions. Next time I want to be woken up from a day on the beach, I will let the leaf blower, the garbage truck, and the guy with the lawn mower know right away.

52 Card Pick Up

It seems I always write on different computers and this one doesn't have spell-check. So, let's see how I do.

My sister told me the other day how she compared life to a giant puzzle. Something about fitting the pieces together and making it work in the long-run, I don't know, I wasn't listening. (Kidding)

I guess I thought of my own little analogy for life today, however, I feel mine might be a bit more overused.
Maybe life could be compared to a deck of cards.
Cards intrigue me, they really do.
First let's go over why we, as people, waste our time in comparing life to anything at all. We do these things because it brings us comfort in life. It brings us meaning and a guide to a higher call. No one knows why we are here, so analogies make us feel better. Like religion.

Did I lose some of you? Yeah, I lost half of my readers with that religion shinanigon. Relax, I wasn't saying anything bad. It was nice. All good intensions here.

Cards. There are chances in cards. There are chances in life. Risks are greatly associated with card games and risks make life more interesting. Cards are loads of fun when playing games, however, when taken too seriously, they lack any type of interest at all.

Hold on. I want to just say something. I hate reading. I do. It is really disappointing because I love writing and writers have to read, A LOT. For this reason, when I write, I make sure that it is worth while and completely engaging. So, just so you know, every word I write is worth your time...or someone's time....or my time? You get what I mean.

I tried to make a card tower today. I honestly have never made one before. It showed through my work. I had a good time. I spent three hours of my life making a 3 story card tower. I felt accomplished by the end. That's how life is. You spend years and years doing something and still feel empty. You spend 3 Ron-Measly (ha) hours making a card tower and you feel like you own the world.

You might be thinking...writer, are you comparing life to a deck of cards or a card tower?
Yes.

The truth is, I want to shuffle my life and play 52 card pick up in the rain.
I'm just worried about losing a few cards along the way. Aren't we all?


Go fish.

Due Dates and Shrinking Rates

A couple thoughts.

I wish bodies would shrink like clothes do under a warm wash. I wash my colors and my sweater shrinks 3 sizes. Don't you think bodies should act in the same manner? At least to fit the ruined sweater? I'm going to have to pull a Mike TV and stretch it out.
I want to step out of the shower one day and be like, ohhh; my waist shrunk 3 sizes. Bummer. I hate when that happens. Learned my lesson the hard way; don't take another warm shower and then tumble dry. Damn you high heat and steamy atmosphere. (Sarcasm included)

Teachers. I think you, too, should have due dates. If I work tiring hours and weeks over an essay due to you on a certain date, I think I should receive that grade within a reasonable time period. Okay, so I only work tiring hours over an essay, but they are still tiring because most of the time it is around 12:00 AM. "I'll get them back to you later," isn't a proper excuse. I can't very well get my paper to you some other day, can I? I know you have a life, but do your job: skim read my essay and slap an A on that sucker.

Does anyone know anything about specific computer viruses? After about 11:00 at night, my computer starts typing backwards when I try to type anything. I can't read mirror language and no one else can, that I know of, so this phenomenon is quite useless and annoying. Sometimes it even types in all capitalized letters. Who vexed my computer into typing in annoying styles? After 11:00 on my computer, I either look like I am shouting or I am on the wrong side of the mirror. Should I break a mirror to undo this wretched curse?

Just a quick grammar lesson. I know it seems like I really love grammar, but that is only because I do.
Then and Than (This one is my favorite.)

Then is a word used to justify time or sequence of events.
ex: Let's go to the gym, then we can go get ice-cream.
ex: Back then I used to think that there was only one type of political party.

Than is a word used for comparison.
ex: I am better at sports than you. (Comparing your ability, or lack there of, to play sports to my ability)
ex: People read less than they used to, but that's no surprise.


They don't even look like words anymore. I hate when you say a word too many times and it ends up not sounding like an English word. Like Jell-O. Or lamentablamente.
(Not actual English words, Sarcasm not included)