Extra Postage Required

Out-Crazy the Crazies

2009-04-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

So, it's now April. I'm not going to make any petty excuse as to why I haven't written anything lately. I just haven't been inspired by anything lately, I am busy, I just got into a book, I have lots of class work to do, I have been trying to lose weight.
I'm lazy.
Anyway.
While waiting for the light-rail tonight, I leaned against a pole and sifted through the book I had in my bag. I had already read the book from cover to cover, so the sifting was pure entertainment...and partially a cooling system (not a "ghouling system", see A Haunting 16 Feb. 2009). Woo for citations!
Quick note, whenever I like a word..the way it sounds, that is...I continue to use it in sentences to come in different forms (sifted, sifting). It's a little game I like to play when writing. It makes life a bit more fun.

Back to the point.
I was leaning against the pole, sifting remember? I didn't want to be bothered. It's much too late an hour to be bothered by anyone. Meanwhile, a man to my right was talking to himself and then approaching different people, yelling at them. No reason at all. Just madness. Well, I was next in line and I didn't want a talkin' to by this 'crazy'.
I came up with a way to avoid the 'crazies' and get away with it. Nobody gets hurt. The trick is to be crazier than them. If they see that you are crazier than them, they surely won't want to mess with you. It's kind of like that blend in with the zombie mob maneuver, except, in this case, it is homeless instead of zombies...and they want your money, not your brains. Well, they might want your brains.
1. Talk to yourself. This is key. No one feels comfortable being around someone who keeps themselves company. This is usually easily done with a book, ipod (Celine Dion lyrics are perfect to look like the ideal 'crazy'), phone, headphones (not plugged in to anything), or some other item in front of you. If you have trouble bringing up conversation with yourself, just say anything that comes to mind. Find inspiration from other homeless crazies.
2. Make sudden, fidgeting movements. No one wants to get punched in the face. They'll back away for sure.
3. Shifty eyes, shifty eyes, shifty eyes. Say that 3 times in a monotone voice at a moderate speed. Lower your eyelids to a medium level and move your pupils from side to side. You end up looking mysterious or in serious need of a fart. Either way, no one will bother you. Mission accomplished.
4. Begin De-Crazy Stage. Okay, all the crazies are gone. No need to continue this charade. Stop talking to yourself and relax your eyes, no one is out to get you.
5. Convince yourself that you are not actually crazy. Take a walk around. Take deep breaths. Finish up any train of thought out loud if you have to.
6. Fight the voices in your head. You show them who is boss! Yell at them if you want to! Do anything to prevent yourself from becoming crazy. Take it out on people around you!

There. See.
Everyone wins.

Leaf Blowers

2009-03-11T00:42:00.000-07:00

Machines that make such vile noise should not be allowed to operate before 12:00 P.M.

I don't turn on the vacuum at 11:00 P.M. and decide it's a good time to start Spring cleaning early.

And really? Leaf blowers? Use a broom like a normal person. It saves gas, like a Honda, but less efficient.

Couldn't garbage trucks pick a better time to pick up the week's worth of garbage other than 5:00 A.M.?

So, I've got the guy doing yard work and the garbage trucks giving me a surround sound of sleeping distractions. Next time I want to be woken up from a day on the beach, I will let the leaf blower, the garbage truck, and the guy with the lawn mower know right away.

52 Card Pick Up

2009-03-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

It seems I always write on different computers and this one doesn't have spell-check. So, let's see how I do.

My sister told me the other day how she compared life to a giant puzzle. Something about fitting the pieces together and making it work in the long-run, I don't know, I wasn't listening. (Kidding)

I guess I thought of my own little analogy for life today, however, I feel mine might be a bit more overused.
Maybe life could be compared to a deck of cards.
Cards intrigue me, they really do.
First let's go over why we, as people, waste our time in comparing life to anything at all. We do these things because it brings us comfort in life. It brings us meaning and a guide to a higher call. No one knows why we are here, so analogies make us feel better. Like religion.

Did I lose some of you? Yeah, I lost half of my readers with that religion shinanigon. Relax, I wasn't saying anything bad. It was nice. All good intensions here.

Cards. There are chances in cards. There are chances in life. Risks are greatly associated with card games and risks make life more interesting. Cards are loads of fun when playing games, however, when taken too seriously, they lack any type of interest at all.

Hold on. I want to just say something. I hate reading. I do. It is really disappointing because I love writing and writers have to read, A LOT. For this reason, when I write, I make sure that it is worth while and completely engaging. So, just so you know, every word I write is worth your time...or someone's time....or my time? You get what I mean.

I tried to make a card tower today. I honestly have never made one before. It showed through my work. I had a good time. I spent three hours of my life making a 3 story card tower. I felt accomplished by the end. That's how life is. You spend years and years doing something and still feel empty. You spend 3 Ron-Measly (ha) hours making a card tower and you feel like you own the world.

You might be thinking...writer, are you comparing life to a deck of cards or a card tower?
Yes.

The truth is, I want to shuffle my life and play 52 card pick up in the rain.
I'm just worried about losing a few cards along the way. Aren't we all?

Go fish.

Due Dates and Shrinking Rates

2009-03-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

A couple thoughts.

I wish bodies would shrink like clothes do under a warm wash. I wash my colors and my sweater shrinks 3 sizes. Don't you think bodies should act in the same manner? At least to fit the ruined sweater? I'm going to have to pull a Mike TV and stretch it out.
I want to step out of the shower one day and be like, ohhh; my waist shrunk 3 sizes. Bummer. I hate when that happens. Learned my lesson the hard way; don't take another warm shower and then tumble dry. Damn you high heat and steamy atmosphere. (Sarcasm included)

Teachers. I think you, too, should have due dates. If I work tiring hours and weeks over an essay due to you on a certain date, I think I should receive that grade within a reasonable time period. Okay, so I only work tiring hours over an essay, but they are still tiring because most of the time it is around 12:00 AM. "I'll get them back to you later," isn't a proper excuse. I can't very well get my paper to you some other day, can I? I know you have a life, but do your job: skim read my essay and slap an A on that sucker.

Does anyone know anything about specific computer viruses? After about 11:00 at night, my computer starts typing backwards when I try to type anything. I can't read mirror language and no one else can, that I know of, so this phenomenon is quite useless and annoying. Sometimes it even types in all capitalized letters. Who vexed my computer into typing in annoying styles? After 11:00 on my computer, I either look like I am shouting or I am on the wrong side of the mirror. Should I break a mirror to undo this wretched curse?

Just a quick grammar lesson. I know it seems like I really love grammar, but that is only because I do.
Then and Than (This one is my favorite.)

Then is a word used to justify time or sequence of events.
ex: Let's go to the gym, then we can go get ice-cream.
ex: Back then I used to think that there was only one type of political party.

Than is a word used for comparison.
ex: I am better at sports than you. (Comparing your ability, or lack there of, to play sports to my ability)
ex: People read less than they used to, but that's no surprise.

They don't even look like words anymore. I hate when you say a word too many times and it ends up not sounding like an English word. Like Jell-O. Or lamentablamente.
(Not actual English words, Sarcasm not included)

Coincidence

2009-02-21T12:40:00.000-08:00

Two things. Quickly though, I am traveling.

I'm on, quite possibly, the slowest computer I have ever been on. Once you have been exposed to beautiful high-speed internet, you truly can never return to the dull, molasses-like box I call this computer. I don't know if it's the R.A.M. or the cable connection, but I feel I have aged a bit while attempting to surf the web on this browser. Slow computers are probably ranked in the top 10 on the Annoying Things About Life list; being so extensive, that's pretty good. I feel like I am in the mid-90's when computers were just gaining some decent speed. I mean, the sound doesn't even match the alerts. I am typing and it is actually revealing the letters with a 3 second delay. That's three seconds three many.

Also, does anyone else agree that watching movies late at night impairs your judgment of the actual film itself? Every midnight showing or late night viewing I have ever seen has always ended tragically, on my part. It's either a huge coincidence, or watching movies for the first time late at night is a no-no. Perhaps you are tired, or maybe it is something else...like you're sleepy. Watching movies late at night ruins them.
I saw the movie Burn After Reading last night at like 12:00. More like Burn After Watching. Everyone I know gave it great reviews and it looked fabulous, I just didn't like it at the time.

Perhaps another day I shall watch it while blogging. Nah, my computer can't handle two windows at once.

*The picture above is of a Chow Chow, a dog my sister found on the street and named Chowder.

New Found Instant Lunch, Glory!

2009-02-18T21:14:00.000-08:00

New Found Glory is a band with interesting ideas for the ending to their CDs. Each one of them ends with a great song, however, the song has eight more minutes after the ending of the actual song. What is this?

The time is filled with either a scream or a whisper of creepy voices. The band goofs off at the end of their albums by singing lyrics like "Someone's in your house" and screaming very loudly ten minutes after your favorite song is over. This is no bonus track.

Now, my alarm clock is my ipod put on a shuffle setting. Apparently, the band members think it is comical that I wake up to a voice whispering someone's in your house at 7:00 in the morning. I've never woken up so fast in the morning. I suddenly tried to justify why someone would be in my house so early. You know how you are when you just wake up. You're still waking up from that groggy stage, you don't know what's going on. It's bad enough waking up as it is, but imagine waking up to a little whisper in your ear. Who did I anger so much so that they would come to my humble abode?

Heart attacks feel so good after a deep slumber.

I bought a chicken flavored Maruchan Instant Lunch bowl today. The one with the noodles, sodium-filled broth, and...vegetables?

Yes. There are carrots, corn, and peas in the Ramon broth. But, they're all dehydrated. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting my full dose of nutrition out of these bits and pieces of corn and carrots. I guess if you pay half the dollar, you're going to get half the veggies. But here's an idea Maruchan, don't advertise a colorful assortment of vegetables dancing in a bowl on the cover if you can't deliver. I better get happy, hydrated veggies for my two quarters next time, or someone will be in your house at 7:00 A.M. and it won't be New Found Glory.

*The picture in this blog consists of an Instant Lunch bowl and the band New Found Glory in the background.

A Haunting

2009-02-16T22:05:00.000-08:00

My air-conditioner is haunted. There is no doubt about it.

All day it runs and makes no noise. It is quiet as a crowd while Aretha Franklin sings.

When I turn off the lights and get into bed, it suddenly starts making a noise that can only be described as a person punching at it from the inside.

Are there any air-conditioning experts out there or is my cooling system a ghouling system?

Anytime

2009-02-16T21:15:00.000-08:00

By request, I looked up the difference between the word 'anytime' and the phrase 'any time'. Through various sources and research, I find some enlightening responses.

Basically, the word 'anytime' means 'at any time'. It is an adverb and it describes when a verb, an adjective, or another adverb takes place. I found a couple of great examples.

Anytime you need help, just ask. (When can I ask? Anytime.) You can visit anytime you want. (When can I visit? Anytime.)

The phrase 'any time' is a combination of a modifier (any) and a noun (time). It belongs in front of a preposition to complete a prepositional phrase. i.e. at any time.

You are welcome to visit at any time you want. I may not have any time this weekend. ('any' describes how much 'time' I may not have this weekend)

The sentence "The meeting can be scheduled any time" does not work. By adding a simple 'at' before the 'any' to make it a prepositional phrase makes the sentence correct in all the right ways.

I hope that helps. If worst comes to worst, and we all know it does, you could sit there dwelling over the sentence and ask yourself whether it works or not out loud. However, this action does not prevent people from thinking you are socially awkward.
The word and the phrase and certainly easy to mix up.

I also looked up something else.

Apparently, 'anyways' is slang and was invented during a dialect movement in America. A couple sources say that 'anyways' is incorrect and in every situation, one should always use 'anyway' with no 's'. Anytime you use the word 'anyway', make sure to leave off the 's'. I guess you truly do learn something new every day.
Everyday...every day....everyday?

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Employment and Reading at an All Time Low

2009-02-15T22:38:00.000-08:00

An article from the New Yorker in 2007 describes a major decrease in literacy in the recent century. The article states that they did a study in the Netherlands between the years of 1955-1975. They asked everyday people to keep diaries and journal entries of what they did on their spare time, every 15 minutes. With the help of the invention of the television, the amount of reading dropped from 5 hours per week to a measly 3.6 hours per week. Watching television, on the other hand, increased from 10 minutes per week to 10 hours.

By 1995, reading occupied only 9% of people's spare time.

Sociologists think that reading might someday slip into an activity mean for a special "reading class", much like it was before books were published in the 19th century.
Reading is an essential part of exercise for the brain. It develops healthy, positive thinking and decreases the chances of depression and cognitive cells. Reading also enlightens the brain and expands the front part of the brain, which works on muscle memory.

It is also an interesting fact that readers view the world in a different way than people who view television or movies. Readers have a broader imagination and learn by drawing their own conclusions from the descriptive words.

The ironic part about the way I came across this interesting and appealing article was that I had put down my assigned reading for history class, which was slowly, but surely, putting me to sleep. Page after page of uninteresting reading makes it seem like a jumble of words. I, personally, dislike reading unless it is completely engaging or relevant to my life. However, the only engaging books are eventually turned into movies. The books' plots are then tortured into cinematic experiences to sell tickets at the theatres. What is the point of imagining my characters and scenes if they will just show me anyways this coming Fall for $9.50? By the way, the reason your book never turns out the way you want it to is for two facts: readers all have unique imaginations and because Hollywood must go through a series of editors, writers, and agents to create a over-dramatized star-studded movie version of your book.

I believe the real reason for a decrease in reading and writing is social networks and texting, both of which created a system of communication called short-hand messaging (i.e. lol or brb). Basically, people are slowly forgetting to read and write because they are creating a new language to learn for themselves, a new language of slang. The English language is getting shorter and interests in generations are changing. If people really do end up wanting to write a word and do not know how to spell it, there is always spell-check. Spell-check allows people to mispell words and not take responsibility for the ramifications involved in fixing the error.

Who needs a dictionary when I can just right-click the word and take my best shot?

If television really has that big of an impact on reading and writing, why aren't more programs dedicated to educating future generations?
I grew up with Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow. Where are those shows now? What do kids have to watch on television to expand their ever-growing minds now?

While we're on the subject of teaching future generations, they should really invest the time in creating common sense classes for everyday life. Really, they should. I had to learn how to fill out a deposit slip at the bank the hard way. Yeah, I looked like an idiot.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Green Bay Packers

2009-02-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while, but I have a good excuse. You see, I was working for 9 hours yesterday and I must work another 9 today. That's 18 hours in 48 hours. If you subtract time to sleep and time to eat, I barely have 30 minutes for my occasional game of Scrabble. I haven't played in over a year; I'm due for a double-word square sooner or later.

Anyways, I would like to share with you two things I observed. They aren't quite philosophical, but they are no less important.

It was a Friday afternoon.
Walking out of the elevator with me the other day was a woman that I will try to describe to you. She wore black boot-like shoes with a pointed heel at the bottom. The heels led up to legging-pants that were complimented by a large belt. Her shirt was what I can only describe as an undergarment, revealing much of what I didn't want to see. I couldn't see her face, because it was covered in make-up and dark shadows around her eyes. When she stepped out of the elevator, she walked to her Escalade and blasted some sort of rap artist with an overwhelming amount of bass.

Please girls, you're embarrassing yourself. You're embarrassing me. When you are wear a jersey, or a t-shirt with a club or organization on it, you are representing them wherever you go. You represent 'those fans' and 'those members'. If I see a person wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey tear down a sign in a hallway (dramatization), I'm going to think all Packers' fans are idiots. Am I not? It's a sad informal fallacy, but it is truly believed by all. People live by these sorts of things. So, being a woman or being a man, you represent your gender, to a degree. By wearing skank heels and revealing tops, you degrade the female gender to meaningless stereotypes. I, unlike you Britney Spears-idolizing-nothing-to-do-on-a-Friday-afternoon-but-blast-my-dumb-music-hoochy mama, would like to be taken seriously in life. Now, you're not very well helping my cause by walking in heels that you can't even wear yourself. If you're wobbling, they're too high. Maybe you should get some heels the diameter of your brain, 2 inches maybe? Oh, the diameter is the measuement across the circle, usually used to calculate the perimeter of the circle (circumference) or the area of it. (10th grade Geometry)

Stop dressing like trash and try having people like you for who you are. Try, for a change, attracting people with your personality. Or, as I would bet money on, you are too insecure to have a real personality. So, maybe take some time to develop that preferably before the next time you step out of an elevator. Trade in the Escalade for a book or two. I imagine you won't get that much for it in the economy right now. We're in a slight recession. Read the paper.

I feel good. I don't know about anyone else. Now, we shall end on something pleasant. I have gained several wonderful friends in the last week or so. One of which is Darrell, a person whom I can discuss intelligent topics with and laugh about silly mistakes in the same conversation. I also met Richard. I was at work yesterday, for 9 hours just to stress it (actually that sounds like a normal work day for anyone, but I started work at 3:30 PM, so I got off super late). I texted Richard and told him that I was at work and starving and he ended up bringing me food to eat. What a nice gesture. It completely made my day and night. Those kinds of things really make me continue to stay positive.

That is all.
Oh and girl from the elevator, sorry I made fun of you. It doesn't matter, you probably can't read anyways.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Capitalization

2009-02-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

I've had a couple of clever titles for blogs that I wanted to write, however, capitalization is awkward and a very hard word to spell (therefore I am not going to type it again). Who knows what to cap- well, who knows what proper titles should look like? I've wanted to try out a few, but I didn't want to look like an idiot. Is it too late? Hey, at least I admit my faults.

Speaking of typing, not to stray from any incoming important points...foreshadowing, have you ever started typing something at your own general speed and your fingers were positioned in the wrong place? Your sentence ends up looking like Arabic and you try reading it back to yourself, all the while forgetting what you were typing in the first place. It must not have been that important in the first place if you forgot it. I'm just saying, it's a strange phenomenon. Thank God for spell-check. (T.G.F.S.C.)

Anyways, I came across a good life lesson that anyone is free to live by.

If doing something makes you happy, then do it.

If-Then statements are funny little things. They state that if something happens, then the other will correspond to its affects. No one can tell you how to live your life, therefore, you are accountable for your attitude. Is this not true? There is no reason to be 'wishing' you had a different job, career, or life when you can go out there and live it yourself.

Now, back to my statement. If something makes you happy, then do it. It doesn't matter what others think; your decisions make you who you are. If sleeping all day makes you happy, then do it. Does that mean it's healthy? Hell no. Sooner or later, you will find out that sleeping all day makes you incredibly groggy and a not-so-fun person to be around and, in turn, does not truly make you happy.

The only way to figure out what true happiness is for you would be to test the temporary fixes that make you smile for a minute until you find a passion in life that makes you beam for a lifetime.

It's not sleeping.

If anyone is interesting in hilarious writers, I found a new idol today. He writes for the Local section of the Arizona Republic and his name is Clay Thompson. He answers people's questions and the last one was a doozy. If anyone can find today's paper, I would read his response to this person's question about toothpaste. They asked if all toothpaste companies are left-handed for some strange reason and he ended up telling them to get a life and stop worrying about tooth-paste. I have never scared so many people at one time by laughing out loud on the bus.

Maybe I should have waited until I was in a less public area to read such a hilarious article.

I found a fun sign yesterday and took a cheerful picture for everyone.

Enjoy.

Caption: The picture is of Yoshi's Fast Food Drive-Thru Japanese food. The bottom of the sign says "Have a Rice Day".

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Unoriginal Pirates Strike Again

2009-02-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, in the World section of the Arizona Republic, one of the top stories spoke of the Somalian coast and how, over the years, the pirate attacks have been brutal. They have 147 men held hostage on other ships commandeered by the pirates. The U.S. Navy, along with the help of several other countries' battalions such as India, Britain, and Germany, managed to let the pirates take $3,200,000 and all the weapons they could carry.

The first comical aspect of the story was the article itself. It used words such as 'booty' to describe the loot the pirates obtained and used the phrase 'anti-piracy' to describe the reactions of neighboring countries. Seeing as how the subject is pirates, as a writer, I would steer clear of any arbitrary vocabulary pertaining to stereotypical pirates. (No pun intended.)

Second of all, are we being serious about the whole pirates thing? Pirates? Do we seriously have a pirate problem still? Didn't they learn from 'Ye Be Warned' and all other threatening slogans from the early 19th century? They aren't even creative. They held hostages on other ships and stole money and cargo. That's already been done in Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, and 3. What next? Will you pillage our farms and take advantage of our women too? Maybe you have to wait until the 4th one to plan your next big attack. Hopefully Barbosa can help you out of your next shenanigans. Oh, pirates. Perhaps they should be charged for piracy, on many levels.

Next, the article makes it clear that the U.S. Navy sent its 5th Fleet and surrounded the ship quickly after it was hijacked to make sure the arms on board did not fall into the hands of any Somali insurgents, believed to be linked to al-Qaida. Oh, good. So, we guarded the ship, with our 5th Fleet no less, and made sure that no insurgents got their hands on any dangerous weapons, did the pirates sneak up on us? Now the pirates have these weapons. At least it's not anyone linked to al-Qaida.

After the incident, the pirate ship's captain, Aden Abdi Omar, oh, sorry, Captain Aden Abdi Omar, was interviewed. I'm no expert, but instead of giving him a microphone, shouldn't we have put cuffs on him? Reporters say they used motorboats to get away. Don't we have something better than that? I know I've seen Jack Bauer on a speedboat one time or another.

I find it hard to believe that pirates are making front page stories in our newspapers. They're getting more coverage than Angelina's next adopted baby. I have yet to hear what they're calling this one; they must be running out of names by now.

Finally, the article left the reader with a nice chart to represent the increase in pirate attacks from last year. Swell. It's hard now a days. We have people getting fired, an overall raise in prices, and pirates.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Tips for Sarcasm

2009-02-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

A little tip.

When trying to come across as 'sarcastic' or trying to persuade another human being, it is always wise to use proper grammar. It never hurts, or at least has never proven to hinder, a valid point. Check your spelling. If your grammar is wrong, there is a 76% chance that you are wrong also.

Caption: The photo to the left is a picture taken of a sign
written by one of my fellow floor members describing
his/her anger about the mess in the halls.
It reads, "That s*** was starting to smell
and since "were" to childish to clean it, I had to dump
it." The words 'were' and 'to' are spelled incorrectly.

I found the picture above in my hall. A fellow floor member wrote an angry note and taped it by a trashcan asking others to pick up after themselves. However, they went about it all the wrong way. The blue markings are all mine. I marked on the piece of paper and corrected the grammar. I honestly could not read it without blatantly staring at the grammar mistakes.

Two too many mistakes:

1. Were and we're are two separate words. They are not, contrary to popular belief, interchangeable. "Were" is the past tense of the word "are".

i.e. We were going to call you, but we thought you had figured it out by now.

"We're" is a contraction made of the word "we" and the word "are".

i.e. We're so happy you are here; now we can start the party.

2. Too and to are also two different words. There is another homonym for the word "to", but hopefully you know the difference between the two.

Too is a word meaning also or a word that emphasizes an amount.

i.e. I, too, enjoy a nice salad.

i.e. That is too many pickles.

To is a preposition or an infinitive word before verbs.

i.e. I like to jump. Can we jump to the mall?

I found a fun grammar game for disbelievers.

http://www.quia.com/pop/8205.html

Use correct grammar. It demeans your intelligence and ruins your credibility when stressing a point. Would you continue reeding dis document if I did bad grammar and spells things incorrectly to? No, I didn't think so. Ethos ruined, end of story.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Community College vs Universities

2009-02-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

Currently attending Arizona State University, I found this particular article quite interesting and I can say with full honesty that I have had an epiphany during the last two days.

The Arizona Republic reports an overload of students in community colleges within the last few years. Students, being offered numerous scholarships, realize that paying $100 dollars per year for their education is cheaper than $14,000. Someone did their homework.

Receiving an associates degree at a community college, then proceeding to transfer any earned credits to a university to finish the degree, is much smarter than jumping into a university after completion of a high school diploma. Granted, experience is gained quicker than that of a community college experience. For instance, I learned that I am paying loans, fees, and taxes out the, excuse my French, wazoo for the same education that I could have gotten for a cheaper price. I did not shop around and I am here to advise anyone I can. In the end, everyone gets the same amount of knowledge for different costs.

Students graduating from high school in the next couple of years should definitely take the time to sit down, weigh their options, and then immediately choose to enroll in their local community college. Taking in all accounts such as credits earned, living expenses, and tuition costs, a community college is truly the wisest place to start one's education.

Within the first two years, all college students take the same courses called general education classes, which are required by every major. Whether you are a student of a university or a student of a community college, you will undoubtedly take a number of science, history, English, and math classes. It all depends on if you desire a class of 400 or 40. Ah, the glory of the university: communication class at 12:00, hopefully I'll find a seat this time. There are exceptions, however, to this credit transfer rule, shall we call it? Students in high school may now take Advanced Placement classes and college level general classes in order to tactfully 'get them out of the way'. One will still need a number of credits in order to fulfill the university's general education requirements. There are not enough hours in the day for an honors high school student to take all of their general college courses and 'get them out of the way'. Being a former student of said 'college level high school classes', I assure my audience that it is not the same training as one would receive at a community college nor a university where they are trained to teach with the college rigor.

The tuition expenses for the same amount of education is less than half that of the universities in Arizona. For example, Maricopa Community Colleges reports charging $71 per credit hour. An average student enrolls in 12 credit hours per semester, equally 24 credit hours per year. Let's just go by my scholarship requirements, which encourage me to take 30 credit hours per year. That means that, if I were attending a community college, I would only have to pay $2,240 for the whole year's worth of tuition. Let's add about $500 for books, that's pretty cheap for books now a days. Our grand total for a year's expenses for tuition at a community college is $2,740. For Arizona State University, tuition for 30 credit hours would be $6,791. That is including fees and book expenses. That is more than double and more than ridiculous.

The universities also have another requirement that costs students even more mula. Universities just passed a requirement stating that all incoming freshmen must live on campus. That means another $6,000 for housing and another $2,000 for board. Woo. Best four years of my life. These times are priceless.

Classes at universities are overbearingly over sized. Does that sentence work? Who knows, my teachers don't even know my name. My history class feels like a rigorous book club. We meet once a week and discuss the truck-load of bookwork assigned. If I am doodling in class, I don't think I am getting my part-time, minimum-wage earned money's worth. Give me a worksheet or something. Let's popcorn read. What happened to that? Call on me. I'm not nervous.

To Future Generations:

Arizona State University and other universities in the state are requiring students to live on campus next year and are lowering the required number of credits for scholarships awarded. Don't clap yet, this isn't a good thing. They are making lots of money off of you. While you are living on campus year after year and not taking enough credits to get through the degree requirements in four years, your time will fly by and your scholarship will be over. This means you must continue attending the university to just finish those last 9 credits and paying the full in-state tuition fees. They are turning the state universities into five year degree programs, making profit on tuition and living expenses.
Go to a community college. You get your first two years of college courses necessary out of the way. We all have the same chance to succeed or fail. Only you can be held responsible for your decisions, so make wise ones.

Judging by the Republic's article, I can tell the younger generations have learned from the rise in prices and the outcome of results. We are headed in a good direction, or at least some direction.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

Sources:

http://students.asu.edu/cost-attendance

http://www.gccaz.edu/FutureStudents/Financial/Tuition.htm

Confession

2009-02-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

It has been 24 hours since my last post and I have found nothing to write about. Why is it that when I am ready and eager to write, nothing comes to mind?

I suppose I could start with my day. I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock, which is a ring tone by Secondhand Serenade (completely beautiful as a song, completely obnoxious as a ring tone). Anyways, I listened to that go off about 80 more times for an hour and a half and dragged myself out of bed at 10:05 A.M. Something peculiar came across my mind this morning, I was smiling. It was odd. I don't smile in the morning and yet this morning I couldn't give my cheeks a rest. I don't know what it was. I'll have to inform my doctor next time I see them.

I then proceeded to math class. I opened the large, heavy door to get into the University's building. Jesus, no door should be this heavy. One time, a girl walked in and I was right behind her. She didn't see me and proceeded through the door. The door, aiming to ruin my day, swung full-speed at me with all of its mighty weight. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty. Books everywhere, phone and battery askew. Anyways, math class came and went much like my last two relationships, with me sleeping through most of it. I then continued my scheduled classes with English where my teacher said my name for the very first time only to ask me to turn on the class computer every time I walked into class. What an honor.

Then I met my good friend Darrell in the building's center so that we could both go over some Spanish for class tomorrow. We know, we're overachievers, but we like it that way. We both went over our readings from Chapter 1 while I drank my Strawberry Banana Smoothie (It's in capitalized letters because it's important to me). Don't laugh until you have tried it. No, no, no. Not just any smoothie. It has to be from a certain cafeé.

I continued my day with a little math tutoring to prepare myself for my test on Friday. My tutor didn't speak much of the English language, well he did, but I could not understand him to save my life. I got as much out of it as I could. It was a good experience. I would just nod and say 'mmhhmm' if I didn't understand him, but other students continued to say, "What?" I laughed. Don't worry, I covered it up with coughs here and there.

After that, I went job hunting. I got my spear (resumé) and my binoculars (regular binoculars) and headed out the door to paint the town red looking for a job.
Are you guys hiring?

Some people laughed, some just handed me a piece of paper, and I got to shake some hands. I feel it was a moral victory. I'll turn in the applications tomorrow and see what happens.
I actually went to the top of a building in Phoenix and saw a beautiful city view. Wow, it was something. I also never have my camera when I see a potentially amazing picture.

By the way, to prove my dedication to this blog...I had to google-search the word resume and got several synonyms such as 'to continue' and 'carry on'. I just wanted the accent above the 'e' to look professional.

I also e-mailed my boy Bill Goodykoontz about his review on Pink Panther 2.
He actually e-mailed me back and the conversation went something like this:

From: Jennifer Giralo
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 5:25 PM
To: Goodykoontz, Bill
Subject: Pink Panther 2

Mr. Goodykoontz,

I type this e-mail with the utmost respect and I hope you can find it humorous.

First off, I think your headers for articles are quite clever, but I highly disagree with your opinion about the Pink Panther. I think you went into the movie anticipating a dumb story, and that just doesn't give the movie a fair chance. I'm sure you get millions of e-mails everyday, or at least I hope you got some for your reviews last week. Even though my opinion isn't read by millions of people, I still give movies a fair shot. I spent the ten dollars on Saturday afternoon to go see this movie, despite your brutal approach to a review. I found myself laughing hysterically and getting caught up in the plot itself. What a twist at the end! I just wanted to let you know that Pink Panther 2 was a hilarious comedy and well worth my money. Perhaps there was a typo. What's so bad about 'Panther 2'? No Clue.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Giralo

From: Goodykoontz, Bill
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 7:17 PM
To: Jennifer Giralo
Subject: Pink Panther 2

Glad you liked it.

So talkative. That's what I like in a man.

While we are on the subject of abbreviations, I must address a growing epidemic. Many students who use social networks and short-hand messaging have been using abbreviations for words such as 'totes' for totally and 'def' for definitely. These words were not invented to be patronized. Please, do not butcher the English language by cutting off the small amount of letters attached to the back of the word, also known as the suffix. Any person past the 5th grade in their educational career would know that. Abbreviations are totes not cool. You are just demeaning your intelligence.

Extra Postage Required: Use a bit more sense next time.

The First Blog

2009-02-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

I haven't quite etch-n-sketched this whole thing out yet, however, I think I want to write about general human habits and how ridiculous some of them are. I might critique critics or teach basic necessities needed for life. I think that would be something beneficial to read about. I'm just starting out, but I hope to gain your trust on crucial topics just as the government has gained the public's trust over the last 200 years.

I'm thinking about saying's or motto's to go by right now. Perhaps, something about kindness like,
"The world is difficult as it is, why not smile and make someone's day?"

I actually don't know if one needs a 'motto', but it couldn't hurt. Could it?